By Charles Miller
Previously this column pointed out some problems associated with spell-checking software and how even the best programs have trouble with homonyms. That was obviously the case with the office memo in which the manager stated, “No smoking aloud.” Aside from spell checkers failing to identify the use of a wrong word, missing a letter, adding one, or using the wrong one can be a big problem.
Spell checkers have an almost impossible time identifying a correctly-spelled word that is the wrong word. An ad for a Pentax Optio M60 compact digital camera actually read, “You’ll always be ready for a sh*t” (that asterisked vowel was not an ‘o’). A grocery store once advertised “porn and beans” while a Chinese restaurant menu featured “human beef” and a choice of “deserts.” Those mistakes could have been what led someone to advertise for an “English tutor.” A church bulletin stated there would be “a moment of silence for prayer and medication.” I cannot even quote the example confusing “mature” with “manure” and there is not enough room on this page to describe the confusion that resulted from a spell checker substituting “wife” for “wifi.”
Not only computers and word processors cause this confusion because cell phones are in a class by themselves. Ask the teenager who texted a confession to a friend that he had “killed” his girlfriend when he meant to type “kissed” her.
An ad for the fast food chain Hardee’s omitted one letter when it described its burgers as having “100% anus beef.” Maybe related to that was the help-wanted ad advising “Hiring for afternoon shifts” that was missing the ‘f’. Some drivers were pleased to see the sign that read “Illegally parked cars will be fine” but were thoroughly confused by the one that read “Violators will be toad and find $50.”
One wrong letter is a problem that actually predates computers. Back in 1940 the Washington Post ran a headline “FDR In Bed With Co-Ed” above an article. President Roosevelt was actually in bed with a cold. Allegedly FDR thought the goof was so funny he called the Post and asked for several copies. Perhaps it is possible he had read a Bible translation with one missing word. There is a 1631 edition of the King James Bible in which the printer omitted the word “not” from the seventh commandment “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” That edition is difficult to find as King Charles I ordered them all burned.
Today some users include “Sent from my phone – Please excuse any grammatical errors.” Typos inserted by spell checkers can make us laugh because sometimes these silly mistakes create hilarious results. This also serves to remind us all that we are better at proofreading than our spell checkers, so we should take the time to read what we thought we just typed before pressing the [send] button.
Charles Miller is a freelance computer consultant, a frequent visitor to San Miguel since 1981 and now practically a full-time resident. He may be contacted at 415-101-8528 or email FAQ8@SMAguru.com.
