By Adriana Méndez
“I’ll give you a painting so you can raffle it off or hold an auction, Adriana.”, said Maru.
Maru, my friend and painting teacher, took out her cell phone and showed me a photo of a painting that is currently for sale in a gallery. “This is it, from last year’s Lunas Rojas collection. I have never lacked for anything; it makes me very happy to be able to help. It is a way of giving back to San Miguel for how much it has given me in recent years.”
This moved me. Pato is a 4-year-old boy in the body of a young adult who just turned 23. He inherited his mother’s beauty and has big green eyes. He is capable of following directions, of expressing himself verbally—with limitations and many grammatical errors—and of creating affective bonds. He is sensitive to rejection and expresses his anxiety by pulling his shirt down until it rips or by repeating the same phrases obsessively. His memory is extraordinary considering the brain damage he has. He can remember many names and situations. When his brain makes the connection between a particular person and any event related to that person, he repeats the idea over and over again.
“Arianaaa! Oh my birthday, my party! Here is Ta’Pedrito and Ocar … And Pabo?”, he said.
If it weren’t for the fact that he remains stuck in those three sentences, like a broken record, and for the expression on his face that hints at his disability, he could pass as any other person. He knows perfectly well that last Saturday was his birthday party, that his two brothers came, and that Pablo, my son, did not come. He is sensitive to acceptance and deeply appreciates it. When he feels wanted or considered, his expression softens. His eyes light up his face, his lips draw a smile, and his throat emits sounds similar to one or more laughs. When there is already trust, after having felt comfortable with someone on different occasions, his heart is touched and he is captured emotionally. As if he wanted to strengthen the newly established bond, Pato approaches the person, hugs them, and says without hesitation, «I love you» followed by their name, which he memorized from day one.
His two older brothers, 25 and 27, live in Mexico City. Oscar, since he was a child, has a great capacity for mathematics. At his young age, he has designed financial projects for real estate developments and has served as a manager in the credit area. Pedro is a young entrepreneur who, after working in the marketing and sports industry, decided to start a logistics company. Both represent loving authority figures for Pato. The first is supportive and playful with his younger brother, and the second, like almost all older brothers, and due to the particular conditions of this family, has played the role of brother-dad.
Pato’s father died 13 years ago of a sudden heart attack when Pato was 11 years old. Since then, his mother, Patricia, could no longer spend time with therapy for Pato and dedicated herself to working full time. Three years ago, with the change of government, she lost her job—as happens to many trusted employees in Mexico when the government changes. The government position and therapeutic subsidy offered by the institution for her youngest son came to an end. The pandemic, which began just a month after she was fired, forced them into confinement for more than a year as well as consuming all their savings.
Pato and Patricia arrived in San Miguel last year looking for a new chapter in their lives. They live and work in Alborada. She is the director of operations and sales for the development. He is in charge (with supervision) of collecting the organic waste of the three families that live there and depositing it in the compost in the garden. She enjoys it a lot. He likes, like any other person, to feel useful.
Last summer, when they first came to this city, Pato participated in the summer course of the Municipal Sports Unit for a few weeks. The teachers integrated him into the youth group. He was happy, just as he is in any activity he undertakes. At the end of the school vacation period, the course came to an end. This also stopped Pato from being part of a community of people his age and of having daily activities. Unfortunately, San Miguel is one of the many cities in our country that does not have a program for adults with intellectual disabilities. It is difficult to integrate a person like this without a trained personal caregiver, commonly called a shadow, into regular programs or even special ones due to the huge differences that exist in their abilities.
What moved me the most about Pato is his ability to turn difficult or painful situations around. When he is sad or distressed, he has immediate symptoms, but in a short time he returns to his usual state: smiling, alert, receptive, and eager to establish affective bonds. I don’t know if he does it because his brain is wired in a different way, but he manages admirable levels of resilience. I know other people capable of coping and overcoming difficult and painful situations. I have seen it in people with degrees of consciousness higher than the majority, which is not the case with Pato. I have wondered on several occasions if he is aware of his difference. Either way, I’d say 98% of the time he’s happy and in good spirits. Admirable.
The painting donated by my friend and painter Maru Vázquez will be raffled or auctioned to hire a qualified shadow for Pato. His mother will then be able to work quietly and have a little free time. Pato will be able to carry out activities that favor his integration into society in a manner consistent with his needs. When I returned to Alborada to tell Patricia about the painting, something unexpected and wonderful happened. But that is another story.
For now, I am happy and moved because Pato and his mother received an immense gift from San Miguel. This means that in the near future it will translate into a better quality of life for two residents who have recently arrived in this beautiful city that they love so much.
