By Charlemagne Osorio
Life slips through our fingers. We assume that the world must adapt to our desires and that others are the ones who must modify their behavioral patterns and understand us. This behavior is natural and results from a logical conclusion. However, both parties are right and both guilty and innocent are found. When referring to interpersonal relationships, we tend to adopt an egotistical attitude, where neither of us is taking specific steps to find a common way of establishing ourselves in the middle of a relationship.
One of the dilemmas we face is that when two partners are busy highlighting the things the other lacks in the relationship, life is slipping out of their hands. These moments of crisis—which could actually be an exciting opportunity because they allow us to see the other as they are in the nakedness of their reality—become the context where decisions are made that will sometimes be harmful to us and our intimate relationships. The harsh reality is that our vision, clouded by selfish desires, prefers to tie a rope around the other’s neck and embark on an adventure of seeking to find the perfect format which fits with our so-called desires rather than simply being understood as whims.
A popular expression is that it is easy to arrive alone but it is safer to arrive accompanied, however difficult it may be to be accompanied. Allow yourself the possibility of having a human being, full of limitations and gaps, next to you and being able to understand the reality of this narrative that is totally different from your own. Give yourself the opportunity to accept the other and embrace everything that is part of their history and that has allowed them to be who they are today.
Obviously, this whole process needs to be understood from the viewpoint of respecting human dignity. Any act of violation of human dignity must be rejected and immediately denounced. On the other hand, life is not moving when things are complex and the challenges of accepting the other in his narrative begins to be his daily bread. I have said it many times: The main step for any process is self-discovery and self-acceptance. From here, the entire exterior panorama changes perspective. Recalling Kant’s phrase «Things are not as they are but as we are,» people reflect what we have or what we lack. Sure, it’s much easier to cut than to process. Every process has profound implications, including turning down the volume on the ego. Life finds us processing what it proposes to us in order to ascend to the next level, and not, on the contrary, cutting out everything that does not respond to our interpretation.
May life catch us being processes and not a poorly written conclusion.
